It has been since October since I last posted. Why has that been? (No…not just because of the baby!) Honestly, I have been a disaster in the food and fitness department basically since I found out I was pregnant last June. I had planned that if I got pregnant, I would use this blog as a way to share how to be healthy throughout pregnancy, maybe tips for staying active and eating well, but that all went to crap. Part of me was ashamed. Part of me knew if I wrote on here it would mean I had to hold myself accountable, and I simply wasn’t ready for that.
I felt pretty lousy during the first trimester, keeping me from wanting to work out. That was followed by a second trimester during which I had bronchitis for over a month. Finally, the third trimester I just couldn’t break my bad habits. Then came the delivery, which (thankfully) was fast and furious, clocking 4.5 hours from water breaking to baby arriving. Similar to when I had my son, my bad eating habits only escalated after baby was born, compounded by the worldwide covid-19 pandemic into which my baby was born.
So here I am. About 65 pounds up from my lowest weight before pregnancy and up another 7 pounds from my highest pregnancy weight (yes, I said pregnancy). I’m not one of those mommas who loses weight while breastfeeding. It’s been a little less than three months since I had the baby, and I’m ready to get back to a healthy lifestyle.
Before you start commenting with “Don’t be so hard on yourself….you just had a baby…everyone gains weight!” or other well meaning supportive thoughts, hear me out. This past year has been a reminder as to just how easy it is to fall into an unhealthy lifestyle and just how challenging it is to get back to making good choices. Several times this pregnancy, I knew I needed to make a change, but the longer I made the wrong choices, the harder it got.
Enter postpartum quarantine living….Hungry all the time to the point of insatiable, breastfeeding challenges, not sleeping, holding the baby around the clock…making good choices just became harder and harder.
Starting a few weeks ago, I decided to start making some small changes, and each week I’m doing a little better. Things like switching from chips to stovetop popcorn, ice cream to sugar free popsicles. This past Tuesday, I both got an adjustment on my lap band to hopefully help with the hunger, as well as joined a weightloss accountability group started by a friend. I’m buying more fruit and vegetables, cutting back bit by bit on the foods that sabotage me. I’m still trying to figure out how to get more active with two demanding littles and no childcare, but my first step as been by wearing my Apple Watch again.
As the title of this blog says, I am a work in progress. My main motivation for losing weight the first and second times around since weight loss surgery was because I wanted to have children. After trying to conceive for nearly 3 years with my daughter, we’ve decided not to “try” again. If God blesses us with a third, beautiful. If not, we are happy. So my last big “why” to lose is no longer there.
So what is my why? Part of it is vain…I don’t like how I look now compared to before pregnancy…It’s hard for me to see pictures and videos of myself knowing I previously was at my lowest weight since childhood. Honestly, that’s not a big enough “why” for me though.
My main “why” is because I want to feel better. I want to be comfortable in my own skin. I love the feeling of being in shape, and it’s empowering to be in control of my food choices. Food addiction and lethargy have been my nemeses. Every day will be hard for a while, but each day I make good choices, the easier it will get.
If anyone has made it this far reading this post, thank you for your support. Thank you for your encouragement. If you’re in a similar boat, drop a comment letting me know you’re in this with me. I do plan to update this more often, sharing ways that I am taking steps towards health and fitness as a stay-at-home mom (who works from home part time).
I’ve been here before…I know what I need to do. Now it’s just a matter of doing it. I’m not seeking perfection…just progress.
A Work in Progress 